Christmas Melancholia
At long last, the holiday rush is over. Literally, it was a rush for me, everything I did was in a rush, wrapping presents due in the morning, emailing ecards, sending messages to my friends in my messenger list. But finally it was over and done with. Everything I needed to do was done just in time before Christmas eve kicked in.
Anyway, while it was Christmas eve in the Philippines , it was December 23rd here in the States. Since it was just a day before Christmas eve, there was nothing much to do so we just watched TV. Me and my husband watched an orchestra band playing lots of christmas carols. It was fun to watch and listen to their lively music but it somehow made me blue . I turned to look at my husband, noticed he looked sad too so I joked, said ” Uh, oh, Daddy looks sad now ” , went over to him to give him a hug but as I did I found myself crying. I didn’t realize I needed the hug much more than my husband did. I just lost it you know, I was teasing him but didn’t admit it that I was the one lonely deep inside. Husband’s been here for eight years already and I’ve been here for only a year and a half so it was much more sad for me. I know that my family in the Philippines are all together, preparing for a noche buena and we’re here just the three of us. It was too lonely and it just got me crying.
I used to look forward to Christmasses, it’s actually my favorite time of the year but now that I’m here far far away from my family in the Philippines, I don’t know. Suddenly I wish Christmas would not come at all. I just know that I will never be happy here during Christmas coz it aint Christmas when your family isn’t there to celebrate with you.